Breath-counting Meditation

If you're interested to learn Breath-counting meditation, here are the steps:
1. Sit in a comfortable position.
2. Close your eyes.
3. Relax your shoulders, face, and whole body.
4. Keep your breathing natural as you inhale and exhale normally.
5. For every exhale, count silently in your mind from 1 to 4. After 4 exhales, count again to 1.
6. Focus your mind only on your breath. Let go of all thoughts.
7. Do this for 5 to 10 minutes as you wake up and before you sleep.
If done properly and continuously, you'll be amazed with the results.

The Promethean Manifesto

(This is the valedictory speech I delivered on Saturday, April 14, 2012 at the PICC.)

 

          Socrates once said, "Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel." The famous philosopher believed that education is not confined in the spoonfeeding of information but in arousing curiosity, developing critical and creative thinking, and forming meaning and knowledge. But I believe that that flame does not only refer to mental and cognitive processes. It also symbolizes the spark, the beginning of a transformation which spans the personal and the social realm, a revolution that can only be initiated by truly learned individuals who want to use their intellect for the betterment of society. Now that we are already graduates, my question is, do we really have this spark in us?

 

          Almost one million graduates are produced annually by the Philippine educational system, but do we see any significant changes in our social conditions? Why do we see so much misery in the world when there are so many supposedly "educated" people around? I believe that learning should lead to transformation, a change not only in personal behavior but in the wider social conditions, because "The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change." This was aptly uttered by psychologist Carl Rogers.

 

          Everytime I see beggars lying in the streets, I can't help but feel angry and hopeless because of my incapacity to improve their distressing circumstance. At the back of my mind, I convince myself that the reason why I chose to become a teacher is to alleviate poverty by providing quality education. But I now come to realize that merely attaining education is not enough because "education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard" according to American poet Robert Frost. The British writer Alec Bourne espoused that "It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated." I assert that if we are not able to produce change, our entire education is meaningless, we have graduated for nothing, because "Change is the end result of all true learning" according to the author Leo Buscaglia. The philosopher Herbert Spencer also argued that education without transformation is pointless when he said, "The great aim of education is not knowledge but action." Why is this so? Because as intelligently enunciated by former South African President Nelson Mandela, "Education is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the world."

 

          As most of you believe, we study in order to get a high paying job in the future. Then the money that we will earn will be spent on our family's needs. This "family-centric" scheme is so ingrained in our consciousness that only a few were able to rise above it. These deviant people are those we call saints, heroes, martyrs – people who devoted their lives in improving the human condition. Where now are the heroes and saints of our time? Do we see them only in the movies and TV? No, the heroes, the leaders, the saints should be you, fellow graduates, because as John F. Kennedy put it, "Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other."

 

          Show that we are learned persons by leading a transformation, a revolution that begins by adopting a humanistic, socially-oriented viewpoint and a compassionate, selfless, loving attitude towards our fellowmen. If we want to change society, change ourselves first. That personal transformation will become the foundation for greater, more far-reaching changes that will significantly affect our families, churches, schools, communities, and the society as a whole. Remember, as Jiddu Krishnamurti said, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

          The country desperately needs this revolution. This dark world greatly longs for light to shine on it. Show the world your passion and compassion, fellow Arellanites! It's time to light your candles and start the change that we want to see in the society. Join me in this revolution!

 

          Again, to our University President, administrators, school officials, graduates, parents, and friends, good afternoon.

 

          Before I end, let me thank the administrators and officers of Arellano University, the dean of the School of Education Dr. Eduardo O. dela Cruz, Jr., the faculty, my classmates, my friends, my special someone, my parents, the ultimate Source of everything, and all the people who kindled our flames, touched our lives, and will continue to guide us in awakening the fire and touching the lives of others. Thank you.

The Art of Letting Go

"True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you." This quote from an unknown author exactly captures a thought that is often missed by most people – that letting go of someone you is love is also a way of expressing your love, sometimes even the best one. For many, letting go and moving on from a breakup is a process usually marked by pain and emotional struggle. As a help to these people, I want to offer a four-step guide on letting go which can be summarized into the acronym CARE. They are as follows. 

 

The first step in letting go of someone is…cry. This may be odd for some people, but crying actually helps a person release emotional tension and pain. Though it may seem to be a sign of weakness and sentimentalism, crying over a loss is in fact a perfectly normal part of being a human. It has even been proven that crying is essential to a person's psychological maturity. 

 

According to Ann Landers, "Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head." It is therefore important to let go of negative feelings such as anger, resentment, hatred, and unforgiveness. This can be done by letting out your anger, forgiving those who might have hurt you, or simply just by crying. But of course, the method used by each person in coping with negative emotions depends upon their personality type, attitudes, and beliefs. 

 

The next letter in our acronym CARE is A which corresponds to the word avoid. Yes, avoid your ex-lover and his mementos. Moving on is a psychological and emotional process, thus it involves the mind, will, and emotions which are all abstract and intangible elements. Nevertheless, physical activities are also integral to the process. An example of this is avoiding the person and the things that remind you of him. This is important so that it will become easier for you to forget the past and the painful memories associated with it. 

 

Many people say that avoiding someone is a sign of immaturity and bitterness, but I say that it is a mark of practicality and wisdom. Practicality because it is one of the easiest and most doable steps in letting go of someone; wisdom because it is a way of preventing further damage and pain. Seeing your former lover can bring out emotions and may cause you to do or say something you will regret, so it is most advisable for you to avoid him. 

 

Likewise, mementos such as pictures, letters, gifts, or anything that reminds you of the person should also be avoided. You have to give them away, put them away, or hide them until you are finally able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong. Remember the principle most often applied in advertising: Out of sight, out of mind. 

 

The main purpose of avoiding someone and his mementos is to help the mind and the heart refocus. This is the third step in letting go and corresponds to the letter R in our acronym CARE. Refocusing involves two steps: stop thinking about your ex-lover and think about other things. Why are they important? Psychology has an answer. 

 

Actually, love is not only an emotion; it is also a behavior, and just like any other behaviors which can be learned, love can also be unlearned. Some people learn to appreciate and like a person by thinking about his good qualities and always being with him. In due time, this feeling can turn into love. Likewise, this process can be reversed when the opposite is done. By training yourself not to think about the person, you will gradually learn to forget him. Besides, dwelling on the past only worsens the problem and intensifies the pain and burden of letting go. 

 

When you are tempted to think about your ex, try focusing your mind on other things, or better yet, think about the mean, rude, cruel things your ex may have done in your relationship. This is the essence of refocusing. If you can't stop thinking about him, think about his negative qualities. This will help ease the pain and make the process of moving on easier. 

 

The last letter in our acronym is E which corresponds to the word express. There are many ways to express your thoughts and feelings. You can write, draw, or paint. You can also talk with your close friends. They may get sick of hearing you talk about the breakup but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later. You have to get everything out so that you won't hold it inside. Remember, negative emotions are toxic. They have to be let out. 

 

Letting go is never easy, but it can be done. Applying our acronym CARE can be helpful in doing this: C for cry, A for avoid, R for refocus, and E for Express. As I now bring this speech to a close, let me share a quote from Phil McGraw which I want to serve as an encouragement to those who are just learning the art of letting go and are struggling with it: "Stand up and walk out of your history." Thank you and take CARE.

Pagkatapos ng Sigwa

Hinawi na ng ulan ang nagpupumiglas na luha,

pumatak, umagos, nilunod ng baha.

Katulad din ng aking kinimkim na paghanga,

akin nang isinuko, sa dibdib pinakawala.

 

 

Sa aking pagtitig sa pisngi ng langit,

alam kong dama niya ang lihim kong pagtangis;

sapagkat sa pisngi ko'y luha niya ang gumuguhit,

habang puso ko naman ay sumasabog, napupunit.

 

 

Sa mapait kong pag-iisa, ulan ang karamay ko

gayong ang hangad ko'y mahigpit na yakap mo.

Sana sa pagtila at pag-alis nitong bagyo

isama niya ang pighating sa puso ko'y bumabayo.

 

 

Malamig ang hanging sa katawan ko'y bumabalot,

gaya ng damdamin mong pagkagupo ang dinulot;

o marahil ako'y duwag, inunahan lang ng takot,

kaya itong damdamin ko'y sinikil ko na't pinatulog.

 

 

Lumakas pa ang ulan, di pa handang umalis

tulad din ng puso mong di pa handang umibig;

patuloy ang pagbuhos, pagbagsak, at pagdilig

habang 'tong damdamin ko'y pinaubaya na sa tubig.

 

 

Hinawi na ng ulan ang nagpupumiglas na luha,

kasabay ng damdamin kong akin nang pinakawala;

kung ito'y magbalik man at muli tayong magkita,

sana ako'y matapang na at pareho na tayong handa.

Sa Puti Mong Hiyas

Ako'y nagitla sa pagbati mo sa 'kin

 

at ang loob ko'y natigib ng hinayang.

 

Dati, alok mo'y malawak na buhangin,

 

ngayon ay damo ang sa 'ki'y nakaabang.

 

 

 

Damong kinukubli dalisay mong ganda,

 

ngayo'y nagpapalamuti sa 'yong pangpang.

 

Malawak mong disyerto ay inagos na,

 

sabay lumipas ng aking kabataan.

 

 

 

Habang binabaybay daang lubhang kipot

 

tungo sa gilid ng tubig mong magiliw;

 

aking naalala, yamang di malimot:

 

kabataan kong ginugol sa 'yong piling.

 

 

 

Sa lawak ng 'yong malayang buhanginan,

 

isang bata ang malaya ring naglaro:

 

natutong magsikap sa paghahabulan;

 

sa bagsak ng saranggola: pagkabigo.

 

 

 

Sabay sa lipad ng eroplanong papel,

 

pumailanglang din pangarap ng paslit.

 

Habang s'ya'y tingala sa langit mong kahel,

 

sa kanyang pisngi hangin mo'y umaakit.

 

 

 

Para sa kanya'y paraiso ang hawig

 

ng 'yong paligid at puti mong lupain.

 

Sa kanyang loob taimtim na nasambit:

 

'wag sanang maglaho malawak mong buhangin.

 

 

 

At ngayong ang paslit ay nasa 'yong tabi,

 

paa n'ya'y nakatapak na lang sa putik.

 

Kahit pilitin n'yang buhayin ang dati,

 

inagos mong kahapo'y di na mabalik.

Cumulosophy

Since I was a child until now, watching the clouds has always been a pleasure for me. Even after learning the basic principles of meteorology, I still believe that there is magic in the way clouds form their shapes and sizes and in the way they take their colors. I think that never anymore will I be able to outgrow the amazement and wonder that I feel everytime I look up the sky and see those fluffy, white, cottonlike, cute creations of God. Maybe this is why when I was a child, it had been my dream to fly up in the sky and lie on those clouds like Peter Pan did. Oh, the sweet memories of childhood.

 

Now that I'm old, I still find contemplating the clouds enjoyable, or even more, meditative. I can't believe that those cute stuffs in the sky have actually taught me many things in life. They taught me that my life is actually as transient, transitory, fragile, and mutable as they are. Additionally, in the same way that a solitary, small fragment of cloud is usually uninteresting unless it becomes a part of a bigger whole, my life will also become meaningless when lived alone and isolated from the people around me, especially those who love me and whom I love. My life now as youth can actually be represented by those white, cottonlike clouds and as I grow old, the change can also be symbolized by the orange-violet clouds at dusk. Obviously, our cloud's color becomes darker as we age. Nevertheless, because of the experiences that we amass as we grow old, our cloud actually becomes more colorful as it changes from white to yellow, then orange, then red, and finally until it mixes with the color of the night. That's what actually life is.

 

Most importantly, I learned that it is only I who decides the form, shape, and size of my cloud. And just as the clouds are made to be just what they should be and to do just what they should do, I'm here just to live my life as what life should be.

 

10.22.09

Letting Go

April 3, 2013

bakasyon na nga. di na ako sanay na walang ginagawa. andito ako ngayon sa duyan habang nagtatype. wala na akong magawa. bored nang magbasa at gumawa ng kung anu-ano. feeling ko lang gusto kong magsulat kaya eto.

kahapon lumabas kami ni qijof. sa wildlife lang kami. kahapon feeling ko parang kami na talaga kaya lang di ko pa rin maalis ang feeling ko kay bheng. kahapon ko narealize na iba talaga ang pakiramdam kapag si bheng ang kasama ko. mas kaya kong maging totoo sa sarili ko. nagdecide na rin kami ni qijof na maging friends na lang at i-let go na ang feelings namin. kahit mahirap, yun ang mas tamang gawin. alam ko rin naman na wala kaming patutunguhan. di kami bagay. di kami para sa isa't isa. masyado syang mabait para sa akin at masyado akong makamundo para sa kanya. I just don't deserve her. napatunayan kong si bheng-bheng pa rin talaga ang babaeng hinahanap ko kahit ngayon ay may krisis syang hinaharap. sana nga lang talaga ma-let go na na yung ninakaw na laptop nya. gusto ko nang bumalik ang sigla nya.

iba talaga ang gaan ng pakiramdam ko pag si bheng ang kasama ko. sa kanya ko pa lang nararamdaman yun. sobrang kampante na ako sa kanya dahil ramdam kong tanggap nya talaga ako at di na sya naghahangad na baguhin ako. ewan ko lang kung makaramdam pa ako ng ganon sa ibang babae.

lately pakiramdam ko nawala na ang cheerfulness ni bhe. ang tamad na nya sa text. parang nada-down tuloy ako. nagbago na sya dahil lang sa laptop nya. gusto kong mainis kasi sinisira nya ang buhay nya dahil lang sa isang bagay na nawala sa kanya. para bang buong kaligayahan nya nakadepende ron. naiinis ako dahil di nya magawang i-let go yun kahit matagal nang nawala. parang nag-iba na talaga siya dahil dun.

Zen

 Sept. 14, 2012

Ramdam ko namang may feelings na ako kay nbn dbspm kaya lang ayoko ng gulo. Di ko naman nire-repress ang feelings ko, pero ayoko ring patuloy na lumalim ang nararamdaman ko. Ayoko  na kasi ng gulo. Basta di ko na kailangan ng babae. Busy na ako sa Zen. I just want to fully live each moment. Masaya na ako ngayon.

Matagal na nga pala akong di nakapagsulat. Simula nong naging kami ni Bhe, di na ako nakapagsulat ulit. Naging  very busy na kasi ako non. Graduating kasi ako nung naging kami saka narealize ko na ang story namin ay mas maganda sa real life, hindi sa nakasulat. May mga feelings din pala na mas mabuting wag na lang ikulong sa lengwahe at hayaang lumago sa puso. Ganon ang pakiramdam ko sa kanya kaya di ko na rin naisipang magsulat tungkol sa kanya o sa  aming dalawa.

Nakakamiss din palang magsulat. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan kasi nakafocus na ako sa existence ko at sa meditation. Sobrang thankful ako na natuto akong magmeditate. Ito na ang pinakamahalagang natutunan ko sa buhay ko. Nahanap ko ang sarili ko at naging buo na ang pagkatao ko. Ngayon alam ko na kung ano yong sobrang tagal ko nang hinahanap sa buhay ko. Ito na yon. Mahirap nga lang banggitin gamit ang salita. Pero dahil sa meditation, na-encounter ko na ang "ITO". Salamat sa Diyos (o sa existence) dahil sa wakas naramdaman ko nang nakauwi na ako. Ito na talaga yon.

Marami na ngang nangyari simula nang gumraduate ako. Nakapag-apply ako bilang Instructor sa ACCESS Computer College at mag-iisang sem na ako ron. Sobrang nag-eenjoy ako sa work ko kasi pinangarap ko talaga ang magturo sa college. Nakakatuwa rin ang mga estudyante ko. Kahit maraming hirap sa Math, di naman ako nai-stress sa kanila. Isa pa, masaya ako sa mga co-teacher ko. Di sila mahirap pakisamahan. Parang magkakabarkada nga lang kami eh. Pero syempre, di pa rin maiiwasan ang mga isyu kasi iba-ibang ang personalities at background nila. Basta ako, labas ako sa mga isyu nila. Nandon lang naman ako para magturo. Masaya na ako sa ganon.

 

Inaantok na ako kaso nag-eenjoy akong magsulat. Lately lagi na akong kulang sa tulog. Lagi na kasi akong ginagabi kaya late na ako nakakatulog. Pero hopefully pagkatapos ng board exam makakapagpahinga na ako tuwing Sunday. Kailangan ko naman kasi talaga ng tulog.

Ano pa nga bang pwedeng isulat? Si lsjtib buntis na at di ko alam kung sino'ng ama. Di naman kasi ako nakikibalita sa mga tao sa simbahan. Ilang buwan na rin kasi akong di nakakasimba dahil sa LET review. Si kfo nilalayuan ko na rin. Nagsawa na rin kasi ako sa pagsabi sa kanya na tigilan na ang relasyon nila ni mpwfmz . Wala na akong pakialam sa kanya ngayon. Basta nakafocus na lang ako sa present moment, sa existence ko ngayon. 

Nakakamiss din si Bheng. Gustung-gusto kong yakapin at halikan ang babaeng yon. Gusto ko ang naughtiness at kakulitan nya. Nakakaadik ang amoy at yakap niya. Gustung-gusto ko siyang pasayahin.

Sige na, matutulog na nga ako. May demo pa ako bukas na NTC.

Bittersweet moments

April 29, 2013

gabi na. andito ako sa duyan. one month na rin akong tambay dito sa bahay. parang nasasanay na rin ako na nagbabasa lang lagi. namiss ko rin naman kasi to. nung may pasok ako di ko to nagagawa.

lately naramdaman ko lang na gusto kong magsulat. napakadalang ko na rin kasing magawa to. kahapon nagsimba ako. naramdaman kong iba na nga talaga ako. di na ako yung dati na popular sa mga kabataan. iba na nga ang mundo ko kumpara sa kanila. may load din si qijof kahapon kaya parang bumalik saken yung isyu ko about belief. tuwing kausap ko kasi si qijof, parang napakadali lang ang maniwala sa Diyos at bibliya. habang tumatagal mas nakikita kong nahihirapan akong maniwala. tuwing nagpi-preach si pastor, wala nang dating saken ang mga sinasabi nya, hindi dahil ma-pride ako o nagbibingi-bingihan ako sa mga sinasabi nya. ganon lang talaga siguro pag nakilala mo na ang totoo mong pagkatao, pag nahanap mo na kung sino ka talaga. wala na akong pakialam sa kahit na anong dogma dahil nakita ko na ang center ko. I've already found the peace I've been desperately longing for. naging totoo na ako sa sarili ko at nakalaya sa inner struggles ko. nakauwi na ako sa wakas.

yun ang reason kung bakit wala nang epekto ang sinasabi ng relihiyon at lipunan sa akin. alam ko na kung ano ang dapat pakinggan at sundin ko. kaya nga pag nasa simbahan ako, para kang akong bato sa gitna ng batis. lumalampas lang sa tenga ko ang mga naririnig ko. sayang nga lang dahil di ko to pwedeng sabihin o ituro sa kanila. inalis ko na rin kasi ang desire na mag-"evangelize".

kung iisipin ko lang, masasabi kong successful na akong tao. solid ang friendship namin nina mek at van. talagang maaasahan ko sila kahit sa panahon ng kagipitan. kahapon kasi wala kaming pambayad sa hospital bill ni mama. buti nakautang ako kay van. si mek naman, kahit late na nag-offer, ramdam kong ready syang tumulong. masaya ako sa friendship namin kasi kahit tatlo lang kami, solid naman. ganon din si bheng. isa sya sa mga malalaking rason king bakit naaappreciate ko ang buhay. ang dami kong pangarap na natupad dahik sa kanya. wala na akong hahanapin pa. sa trabaho naman, natupad ko na ang pangarap kong makapagturo sa college. talagang masaya at nag-eenjoy ako, lalo na't ramdam kong naaappreciate din ng students ko ang efforts ko. masarap pala sa pakiramdam yung masabihan kang magaling kang magturo. sa family ko naman, si bok na lang ang pinag-aaral kaya maluwag na, although may financial issues pa rin. di naman yata mawawala yun. ang iniisip ko na lang, darating din yung time na di na namin iisipin ang mga utang ni mama at yung kulang sa bayad dito sa bahay. matatapos din lahat yun.

kung tutuusin komportable naman kami sa sitwasyon namin ngayon. nakabili na nga ng aircon si ate at bukas kukuha na si mama ng ref. kung di namin maaappreciate kung gaano kami ka-blessed ngayon, di rin kami magiging masaya kahit yumaman pa kami.

nagkatext kami lately ni qijof. ramdam kong namimiss nya yung kakulitan ko sa text. siguro naninibago sya kasi madalang na akong magparamdam sa kanya. tinanggap ko na kasi sya bilang kaibigan kaya di na ganon ka-special ang tingin ko sa kanya. kahit nahirapan ako nung una, kailangan ko na talagang pakawalan ang feelings ko sa kanya. yun din naman kasi ang tamang gawin, saka para makaiwas din kami sa komplikasyon. mas mabuti na ang ganon.

many times nararamdaman ko yong urge na kaawaan at palungkutin ang sarili ko. kaya lang narerealize ko wala namang dahilan para maging malungkot at miserable ako. I realize naging way ko pala yung misery ko para kaawaan, tulungan, mahalin, at alagaan ako ng ibang tao. kaya lang di ko naman pwedeng iasa sa iba ang kaligayahan ko. nasa desisyon ko kung magiging masaya o miserable ang buhay ko. yun ang reason kaya gumaling ang depression ko at natuto akong maging misery-proof ang buhay ko.

di ko naman tinatanggi na gusto ko si qijof. alam ko kasi na pag ni-repress ko ang feelings ko mas lalong sasabog yon. tinanggap ko na lang talaga na hanggang kaibigan na lang ang kaya niyang ibigay sa akin. wala na siyang balak na lumampas pa ron ang relasyon namin. isa pa, kahit naman anong gawin ko, si bheng pa rin talaga ang hinahanap ng puso ko. siya na ang naging standard ng babaeng gusto kong makasama at pasayahin. nasa kanya pa rin talaga ang puso ko.

I just want to go deeper. yan ang motto ko pag nagmemeditate ako. just let go of everything and go deeper. ang dami ko nang natutunan at na-experience simula nang mag-meditate ako. naging mapayapa at tahimik ang loob ko. yun naman ang mahalaga, yung nasa loob. dun naman talaga mahahanap ang kaligayahan, hindi sa panlabas. sana noon ko pa narealize yon.